1. People who
point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy,
where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom
is?
2. The Pillsbury
doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.
3. People who
are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote
because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
4. When people
say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Fuck off. What good
is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
5. When people
say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck
would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where
are they?
6. When people
say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50
to come to the theatre and stare at frikken ceiling up there.
7. The radio
ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive.
I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr.Healey. You're blind
for God's sake!
8. People who
ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there
buddy?
9. When something
is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been
anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something
before it.
10. When a cop
pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should
know asshole you fucking pulled me over!
